There are two kinds of people in this world.

There are two kinds of people in this world: the huggers and non huggers. I fall into the latter category and I am comfortable with that lifestyle choice. It has the obvious benefits of not compelling me to grind pelvises with casual and although it can increase tension at family gatherings, it is completely worth it 95% of the time.

Opon first meetings people often come away thinking I am cold and introverted. Au contrair however it takes more than a coffee for my true colors to shine. This gives me an air of mystery. I like to think that at least.

The non hugging tends to be a rule I apply to most physical interaction. I also don't let my hands brush casually against people on the train and being a skinny person allows me to avoid further contact once I'm seated.

While people with my condition can make acceptions to the rule in, say a crowded train, these are few and far between and certainly don't apply outside of New York city.

Take the bolt bus for example. You pay your 19 dollars and you get a giant seat, wifi, and your own outlet. You don't consider it a bonus that your seatmate is a 125lb female. You don't get to take the remaining 4 inches in her seat as exea room for your fat ass. You don't get to rest your sweatpanted / ugged leg against her and crush your arms into her side while you shuffle your iPod. One would think that you would notice your seatmate smooshed against the window curled around her purse, frantically texting everyone she knows about you and plotting to choke you to death with your headphones as soon as you fall asleep. Because, bitch, don't think she won't. She is a woman on the edge. Also, when the bus stops at an Arby's in Connecticut, and your now very flat seatmate locates the armrest and puts it down to fend off your huge ass/thigh/entire right side, do not come back and put your entire arm over it into her lap while you adjust your computer. That is just plain rude.

So non-huggers: when you find yourself in this awkward situation (and invariably you will) be the bigger person. Instead of being a bitch and asking the fatty to move, simply pull our your iPhone and begin watching softcore lesbian porn on the bus' free wifi. Loudly. And good luck in this dog-eat-dog world!